Debbie's Perspective

Just my thoughts of the day.

May 16

Choices

by Debbie

ForkintheRoad

Our lives are filled with a multitude of choices every day. Do I hit the snooze one more time or get up now? What will I wear? What will I eat? What route do I take to work; the toll road or the main roads? If it is a Starbucks morning, then the decision is made; the main roads.

Choices move our life forward. We have to make them, but they can’t be all our life is about.  As a believer in Jesus Christ, I am called to a higher purpose than a life devoted to my physical well-being. A life filled with concern over what I may gain or lose and how future events are going to affect me.

In Matthew 6:32 Jesus tells us that unbelievers run after those things, and our heavenly Father knows that we need them.  Then in Matthew 6:33 He exhorts us – “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Seek first – We are to pursue with diligence, attain awareness and understanding, perceive keenly above everything else we do.  It should be our highest priority.

What?

His kingdom – the sovereign rule and reign of God.  That means we set our highest priority to having God as our sovereign ruler and His word as our standard.  We can’t allow society’s ever changing standard and ideas to be our guide.

and

His righteousness – the English usage of righteousness means “uprightness” or “conformity to an established norm”, but true biblical righteousness is about covenants and relationships. “His righteousness” is about being in a covenant relationship with God. It’s about what God does in fulfilling His covenant through Jesus.  It isn’t about us behaving in a certain way, because man’s established norms change all the time throughout cultures and times. God requires righteousness to come into relationship with Him, and so He imparts His righteousness to us through our faith in Jesus Christ.

And all these things – The whole 6th chapter of Matthew talks about what “these things” are.  Every generation of man needs food, clothes, security, and reward or recognition for his hard work. God knows that we have these needs.  He isn’t saying that we shouldn’t have them or need them, but He is making it clear that we aren’t supposed to worry about them all the time. Jesus contrasts them by pointing out that we can seek all these things for our own selfish gain or use them to care for ourselves and bless others.

Will be given to you as well –If we allow Him to rule our lives and trust Him, then we won’t have to worry about whether our true needs will be met. God promises to supply all our needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus – the covenant and relationship thing again. But, best of all, He provides a higher purpose – fellowship with Him and being part of His kingdom.

When I became a Christian, I made the choice to answer God’s call to follow Him and do His will.  I fulfill that choice or deny that choice every day through what I seek after. It’s always a choice.

Life Prayer Thoughts on Faith Uncategorized

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May 2

Conform or Transform?

by Debbie

butterfly26

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. ~Romans 12:2

Sammy inched his way into the big meeting.  The other caterpillars had assembled there as well.  He waited in anticipation to hear the good news that had been buzzing around the grove all week.  Now he watched as a majestic butterfly floated up to the podium.

“It is with great pleasure I come to you today, sent by the Creator to tell you of His great plan for you,” the butterfly said joyfully.  “He wants you to know that you have been created for a new life; a life that, if you will allow Him to, will transform you from a caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly.”

A gasp spread through the crowd.  Whispers of, “What did he say?” and “That is just crazy,” filled the room.

“No, it isn’t crazy talk, it is true,” the speaker replied.  “You have been created for good works, to help prepare the fields for a big harvest.”

After the speaker had finished all he had to say, Sammy sat there stunned.  Could it be true?  It sounded like such a wonderful story, and his heart was racing.  Some of the other caterpillars were already leaving shaking their heads and making fun of what the big butterfly had said.  Others were huddled together excitedly talking about the big transformation day.

What was Sammy to think? He longed to be a beautiful butterfly spreading his wings and floating on the afternoon breeze.  He felt it deep inside, growing with every moment; a knowing that what he had heard was true.  Even though it sounded strange, this wasn’t the first time he had heard about this.  He had heard others talking about it, and butterflies telling of their former days as caterpillars.  He knew he believed.

The following days were busy and friends gathered together to discuss how to make this metamorphosis happen.  They shared wonderful books telling them about the Creator’s instruction book.  Some of the caterpillars started reading the Creator’s book for themselves.  They read other books to help them understand the Creator’s book, but mostly they just read His book.

These caterpillars began to build a cocoon separating themselves from the typical life of the other caterpillars.  Some of the other caterpillars laughed at them, and thought they were being judgmental and mean no matter how much the cocoon caterpillars tried to explain that they were just trying to follow the Creator’s plan.

Some caterpillars listened to others who thought they had a great plan for changing.  These caterpillars ended up painting their body’s different colors and trying to build wings.  Some had tried to jump from the high branches and wait for their wings to sprout, but nothing had happened, and many had gotten hurt.

Sammy was in a group of caterpillars that believed the cocoon caterpillars were taking it just a little too far.  Even though the cocoon caterpillars encouraged him to read the Creator’s book, he thought it was boring, and he just didn’t have the time to read it.  It seemed so old fashioned, with lots of stories of caterpillars from long ago and their change, but he couldn’t really see how that affected his life today.

Sammy enjoyed reading the books written about the Creator’s book.  They were exciting.  The only problem was that they could also be a little confusing because some books said that the Creator meant this, and others said he meant something else.  It was hard to tell which one was right.

Time was passing quickly, and a lot of Sammy’s friends were already completely wrapped in their cocoons.  His friends that believed, but only read what other’s said about the Creator’s plan, were beginning to wonder why they believed in the first place.  Many were longingly looking at the lives of the caterpillars who hadn’t believed at all.  They seemed to be having fun. They weren’t reading and studying.  They weren’t trying to change. They hadn’t spent all their time trying to feel or work their way into becoming a butterfly.

Sammy had to make a decision, and he had to do it quickly.  There wasn’t much time, he could just feel it.  The majestic butterfly had said that transformation day was coming.  He could follow what the Creator instructed him and become a butterfly or he could do what he thought best and stay a caterpillar.

Sammy really wanted to be part of the big harvest.  He really wanted to have the life the Creator had promised.  The only way he could do that was to become a butterfly.  So, Sammy took out the Creator’s Instruction Book and began to read.

As he read, a cocoon began to form around him.  He realized that what others saw from the outside as a wall that looked like judgment, from the inside was a place of rest and safety from the harsh world outside.  It was a place where the Creator spoke beautiful things into his heart.  He could already feel the transformation beginning.

The cocoon was getting way too tight.  He whispered to the Creator, “Is it time?”

“Yes,” the Creator whispered back to Sammy.  “You are ready.”

Sammy slipped from the cocoon into the cool afternoon breeze.  His wings unfurled and a gentle gust pulled him into the air. The beauty of the fields below was breathtaking.  From deep within his heart he heard the Creator say,

“Go, Sammy, now you are ready to do what I created you to do.  You now know what my will is – my good, pleasing, and perfect will.”

We are not to conform to the pattern of this world, but neither are we to try to conform ourselves to the Christian life.  We are to be transformed by renewing our mind with the Word of God and fellowship with our Lord.  Only then can the miraculous work of the Holy Spirit make us into the new creature we are called to be.

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Apr 25

Cranky and Tired

by Debbie

crying toddlerIn repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. ~ Isaiah 30:15

Have you ever seen a cranky and tired toddler resisting every plea from Mom to come rest in her arms?  The longer she resists the more desperate and out of character her behavior spirals.

Am I like this little child? Throwing my tantrums, trying to have my own way; worn and weary from life.  The Master calls me to enter into His rest.  He beckons me to come into His arms and trust Him to return my strength.

“Come, my child, return to me and rest your sweet head.  Trust me; I know what is best for you.  Lay quiet in my arms and rest, and your strength will return; you will be restored.”

Why do I refuse when I need Him most?

Just like this toddler I don’t want to stop and get quiet.  The busyness and distractions around me are too enticing to let go of.  Sometimes I don’t think I can let go because I need to handle my responsibilities.

“I can do it myself,” I defiantly say.

Some days I give in and run into His arms and find refreshment and strength.  Then there are times I spin out of control until I fall in a heap on the floor; spent and exhausted from the cares of life.

It is time to put childish ways behind me and walk in maturity.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:11

Lord, I am so thankful you are patient with me.  You understand my weaknesses, and help me grow in wisdom and maturity.  Let me stay in your arms and find strength. Amen

Life Thoughts on Faith Uncategorized

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Apr 11

Broken Glasses

by Debbie

DSC_2158

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

“Mom, don’t worry. Your glasses broke, but I fixed ’em right up for you.”

Ugh, those words are not what a mom wants to hear.  I could deduce what happened. The lens in my glasses comes out easily. I’m sure he knocked them off the coffee table where I had left them the night before, and the lens fell out. He had done his best to fix the glasses ‘right up’ for me.

The problem was that the frame was now bent, and the lense was being held in place by tape wrapped round and round the lens and frame. Technically the lens was where it needed to be, but the glasses were not fixed. Now they were a lopsided mess with an obstructed view.

Fear and discouragement can keep us from going to God when our lens on life has slipped from its anchor or we’ve been bent and twisted by circumstances. We try our best to fix things on our own, but end up with a lopsided mess causing us more stress and anxiety.

God encourages us in the passage above that He is with us when we are afraid; He is our God when we are discouraged. He will strengthen and help us in our need. We will be upheld when we come to Him and allow Him to do His work in us. That is where our victory lies. Our view of His purposes and plans for our life will be clear, and He will make the crooked and twisted paths straight.

Lord, let me run to you when life has me twisted and bent, and when my view of life is a blur. Let me remember that you are ready and willing to ‘fix me right up’ when I place myself in your victorious right hand.

Life Thoughts on Faith Uncategorized

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Apr 9

You Can’t Discipline Autism Out of a Child

by Debbie

Autism AwarenessI  don’t write this because of one particular incident, but for the many smaller incidents, comments, and attitudes over the years.

My son looks like the typical 8-year-old — two front teeth a little too big for his little-boy mouth, a sprinkle of freckles across his nose and a mischievous twinkle in his eye. He is active and bright, and, to the casual onlooker, he is just another little boy.

So when he darts away from me running for a door to open and close, or screams and cries as he pulls away from me trying to make it to a door he shouldn’t touch, he seems to be a defiant, out-of-control kid who needs some good discipline to make him stop.

There have been those over the years who have said, “Just don’t let him touch those doors and he will eventually learn that he can’t do it.” A clear sign that they have no idea of the driving force behind my son’s need to open and close doors.

I’ve tried to understand this need my son has for doors. Since his need to open and close them rises with his anxiety level, I often have wondered whether their constant sameness gives him some sort of comfort — an order to an otherwise out-of-order situation.

I think if I could ever really delve into his mind and truly understand, I might be awed by the complexity of it or laugh at the simplicity. All I know is that it is a need that goes so deep in him that I will never be able to punish or motivate it out of him. So it is left to me to continue day in and day out to teach and train him that there are doors he can touch and others that are off-limits — and hope that one day the logical part of his brain will override the reptilian part and he will gain at least a small amount of control in this.

He is making progress, even though it is slow.

The meltdowns stemming from the answer “no” do not come from a lack of being told no, as many would suspect. There have been comments along those lines — or those who have even stepped in and thought that their stern voice or ultimatum would somehow do the trick, leaving me to deal with the even greater or longer meltdown.

My son doesn’t want to lose control. In fact, he hates it. He is heartbroken afterward because of his actions during a meltdown. His driving need for order or comfort in his anxiety overwhelms him, and he finally breaks down.

No amount of discipline in the form of punishment is going to stop this. All I can do is continue to give him strategies and alternatives for times like this. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t. When they don’t, he has consequences to those actions.

Those who believe that he “just needs to learn to mind or just needs a firmer hand” have not lived the years with my son that I have. It shows their lack of understanding of a mind that could read at 2 but wasn’t toilet trained until 7. A mind that understands what you say to him but has difficulty communicating back with language.

They have no knowledge of senses that are messed up so that normal sounds like water running in the sink can be very painful to his ears but some loud siren might not even make him flinch, as if he were deaf. A gentle touch could hurt where a firm touch could be comforting.

They are unaware of an anxiety level that is always there, controlled on the surface but ready to break through when there is too much movement, noise or change. They have no true understanding of how that breakthrough looks like a defiant child but is merely a child no longer able to win his hard-fought battle.

I have to keep my eyes on the goal: my child’s life. I can’t let others’ judgments or opinions of my parenting veer me from my course. My job is to continue to try to understand my son and try to see the world through his eyes so I can teach and train him to somehow fit into our world the best he can, at least as far as acceptable social behavior is concerned.

I will not frustrate him more and put even harder burdens on him than he already bears just for the appeasement of those who don’t understand. Thankfully he has many people around him who feel the way I do and understand that you can’t discipline autism out of a child.

Autism Life Love

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Apr 8

Prayer Pocket

by Debbie

Psalm 17:6 I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer.

I’ve heard it said that we pray only as much as we believe it will do any good. There are also those who see prayer as a final resort — okay, I’ve done everything I know to do, I guess all that’s left is to pray.

My great-aunt Hattie believed in prayer. Everyone knew that if you had a need just tell Aunt Hattie, and she would be praying. She wore an apron everyday. In one of the pockets on her apron she kept pieces of paper with people’s names and their needs written on them. Throughout the day she would stick her hand in her pocket, wrap it around those pieces of paper, and lift up a prayer. She called it her ‘Prayer Pocket’. I believe her prayer pocket was a tangible connection between God and those needs. Each day, several times a day, they were lifted before the throne of grace and mercy; brought boldly there to receive God’s answer by a woman of prayer.

I want to be a connector from earth to heaven. I want to be a woman of prayer, to persevere in prayer and see the hand of God move for the people and things I pray for. I want a prayer pocket in my heart. A place where I keep the needs of those around me, and lift them up to the Lord throughout the day – a tangible connection with God.

So how do I do that? Where do I start? My ‘One Word’ for this year is Seek. I don’t want to just seek answers to my prayers, I want to seek God, and in finding Him I know all the answers I ever need will be there.

My first step was to define Seek: To make a search or inquiry/to attain awareness or understanding. To perceive keenly – extreme perception. Yes, that is what I wanted; to have an extreme perception of God.

Now I just needed to find the right scripture to meditate on daily to help me keep my focus where it needs to be. In my search through the scriptures that had the word seek in them, I couldn’t find the one that really resonated with the depth of what I wanted. Then, while talking to my sister about one she was memorizing from The Amplified Bible, I found it.

Philippians 3:10-11 [For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope] that if possible I may attain to the [spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body].

I know what grabbed me was the phrase ‘For my determined purpose is’. That was it! It had to be my determined purpose to seek God, to know Him intimately, to have an extreme perception of Him. I couldn’t do any of that without prayer. I had to talk to Him; connect with Him.

Could I do it? Would I fail?

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

No, I will not fail to seek Him. Not because of my strength or my ability, but because of His strength and His ability. I will not fail because He is seeking me.

Prayer Thoughts on Faith Uncategorized

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Feb 23

Love’s Layers – My Journey

by Debbie

Love is one of those elusive things that has many layers which only time and experience can uncover. There are Aha! moments where you believe you’ve found the answer to its meaning, but I propose that those moments are just the realization of a new layer you never knew existed before.

As a child, love was my mother serving me chicken noodle soup, Sprite, and saltine crackers when I was sick. My mother is the hinge pin in my understanding of love. She was the first to model it for me as she went about taking care of our family. She was always there for me; interested in my thoughts, friends, and life. Even when she was angry, her voiced raised and eyes narrowed, I knew without a doubt she still loved me. Love to me as a little girl was all about being safe and taken care of.

Boys, boys, boys! Oh how they changed my view of love. Unearthing another layer to love’s secrets brought a roller coaster ride of emotions. I began to experience the heart pounding, butterfly evoking type of love. My heart was whipped around from elation to heartache and back again. While exhilarating, thankfully it was only the birth pains of true and lasting love.

Once married and living day to day with my husband, a new discovery of love came about in a less pleasurable kind of way. This discovery, filled with eye opening clarity that only reality can bring, was quite necessary to the longevity of my love for my husband; the hard work of commitment.

I first heard about commitment in the pre-marriage classes we took. I sat there nodding my head as we were told that there would be days that you didn’t feel love for your spouse, but a commitment to them and your marriage would get you through. At the time, I didn’t understand what it really meant or what it would look like. I was under the illusion that I would always feel this emotion filled love for my husband. It didn’t matter that everyone else I knew had lost that early lover’s elation and moved on into a more steady solid love. To me that love looked boring and lifeless. We were different; we would be like the romance novel lovers with a little less drama.

It’s amazing how towels on the bathroom floor, having very little money, and differing views on how things should get done can send you head long into understanding commitment. Your eyes are opened to the fact that you can really love someone, but not really like them some days. What once seemed like a boring lifeless love looked different from the inside. It was safety.

I was beginning to realize that my mother’s commitment to me is what brought the feelings of safety into my life. It was now my commitment to my husband and his to me that brought safety into our marriage. There were moments when he still made my heart pound and butterflies flutter in my stomach, but I realized without the commitment it would just be the emotion filled rollercoaster I had known as a teenager.

Children can definitely open your eyes to a layer of love called responsibility. In my life, the moment I understood this truth happened when our first son, Taylor, was a month old. It was a stormy evening with the threat of tornadoes around us. The wind began to blow hard, and the tree in front of our tiny duplex began to whip around violently. With the fear that a tornado was on top of us, we ran to our small utility room and huddled on the floor. My baby son was sleeping in my arms totally oblivious to the danger around him. As I leaned over him with my husband leaning over me, I realized that I would willingly give my life for this precious baby boy. I would put myself between him and whatever came at us.

As my husband leaned over us both, it occurred to me that he was willingly putting himself between us and harm’s way. My heart swelled with love for him at that moment. I realized then that not only were we committed to each other for a lifetime, but we were responsible for each other and this child of ours. This knowledge added a weighty layer to what I understood as love, but a layer that bound us together in a way we never could be without it.

Responsibility is that part of love that binds you together during the hard times. It’s the part that says, “I’ve got your back, and I know you’ve got mine.”

I’ve been married to my husband now for almost 30 years. We’ve had lots of opportunities to practice commitment and responsibility, as well as experience emotion as high as the clouds and as deep as the ocean. Love is like that. When you love someone very deeply, they can elicit the most wonderful joy, but also the scariest anger.

When Taylor was nine we adopted a baby girl, Grace. We were at the birth, and held her just moments after she was born. She instantly was our baby. When she was four months old she was diagnosed with a terminal muscle disease. Two months later we were finalizing her adoption when the case worker asked us if we had considered not adopting her and giving her back. The thought was ludicrous to us. She was our child. Again, that sense of responsibility in love came to the surface. I was willing to do whatever it took to take care of her. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t given birth to her, she was my baby nonetheless.

There were days of feeding tubes, breathing treatments, and hospice nurses. We loved her deeply through it all. This is the layer of love I can’t explain. It is the layer of love that is commitment, responsibility, and emotion even when you can’t get anything in return. I guess you could call it the unconditional part of love.

Our daughter relocated to heaven just two weeks after her first birthday. With all the parts of love in place between me and my husband, we survived the heartache. We needed them all to get through it.

Six months later we adopted another baby girl. Our daughter, Hope, is healthy and strong, and a total joy to our lives. Just 18 months after Hope was born, I gave birth to our son, Carson. He was a big surprise. After 19 years of marriage, infertility, multiple miscarriages, and adoptions I had given birth to a boy.

Life continues to surprise us. When Carson was two, we learned he had autism. That journey is another story, but it has taught me many more life lessons along the way, and continues to develop my understanding of love. I don’t know if there are any more layers I haven’t uncovered yet or if I will just continue to learn the complexities of the layers I already know. All I do know is it takes a lifetime to truly understand the meaning of love.

Life Love

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